When you’ve just gotten married, the last thing in your mind would be divorce. Chances are you don’t even want to entertain that thought. The high divorce rates don’t affect your confidence in your marriage, so you and your spouse just go on about your lives, enjoying each other’s company and finding new adventures.
But just like dating at its early stages, the first few years of marriage are also the most exciting. The difficulties are not yet surfacing, so you’re still basking in the honeymoon stage. But once you get past that, how certain are you that you can overcome the challenges ahead?
Your marriage vows will only be proven strong and genuine if you and your spouse are able to settle your differences, forgive each other, and love each other at the end of every day. But even if you practice this, divorce may still loom despite the absence of infidelity and abuse. Here’s how you can tell:
Signs of an Impending Divorce
1. A super-strong start
If you’re fully affectionate to each other at the start of your marriage, that super strong start is likely to lead to a super-strong falling-out later on. If the affection gradually dissipates over time, it won’t be surprising if divorce ensues.
2. Unmet Expectations
Marriage is different from dating, so unless couples are fully aware of this, their marriage will likely go down the hill and not survive.
3. Miscommunication
Communication is highly critical not just in marriage, but in all kinds of relationships. With lack thereof, issues will arise until the marriage completely crumbles.
4. Unending Financial Problems
Financial issues are among the factors covered by communication, so even if it’s not a couple’s favorite topic, it should be discussed often. When you don’t make financial decisions together, your goals won’t be met, likely resulting in a fallout.
5. Trust Issues
Trust issues are the perfect ground for infidelity to bloom, so if you and your spouse no longer feel safe in confiding with each other, one may turn to someone else until emotional cheating comes into the picture. A strong marriage is based on a strong foundation that values communication, so without clear communication, trust issues may arise, leading to divorce.
Reasons to Leave
Divorce is a stressful ordeal, even if you and your spouse aren’t totally in bad terms. You can try saving your marriage, but sometimes, it only becomes worse, ultimately making divorce the better, less stressful option. Besides, experienced divorce attorneys in Long Island and other cities will help make the proceedings progress with minimal disputes.
It may be smarter to no longer save your marriage if the following issues are unlikely to be fixed anymore:
- Unwillingness to compromise
- Misaligned goals, outlooks, and values in life
- Repeated issues
- Financial problems
- Trust issues
- Behavioral problems (e.g. controlling)
- Constant blame game
- Lack of empathy
- Lack of responsibility
- Lack of intimacy
- Constant criticism
- Criminal tendencies
- Lack of remorse or regret for mistakes
- Psychological issues (e.g. addiction)
- Lack of respect
- Misaligned or shifting priorities
- Unwillingness to save the marriage
When you can no longer see these sources of fights being settled, perhaps the best thing to do is to give yourself another chance to be happy by leaving the marriage and taking the time to heal. If there is no abuse or infidelity taking place, it’s possible that you and your spouse will be better off as friends, so you won’t be burdened by feelings of anger. A marriage, though it inevitably comes with difficulties, isn’t supposed to be miserable. Do not settle for less, even if it means having to divorce.
